St. john and Jane chapter 34

In chapter 34, again, we see as the readers, the hold St. John still has on Jane. She cannot bear to be alienated from him although he "pushes" her away every time she attempts to befreind and connect once more with him. St. John on the other hand has other things on his mind, he has a trip to India to prepare for, and Jane to marry. He is offended by Jane when she indirectly declines his offer of marriage by saying, "If I were to marry, you would kill me. You are killing me now" (420) Although Jane has grown to depend greatly on St. John she cannot bring herself to marry him, thus she remembers Rochester and decides to find out what has become of him before Jane makes her final decision.